6TH MONTH X-RAYS were taken on Valentine's Day, Feb 14th, 2008.
Been 3 months since my last x-rays... I did prepare myself for some surprises (the negative sort). Comparing both x-rays from the 3 months gap, one can hardly see a significant change. Up-close with a doctor's explanation, there are some callous bone formation but clearly, the gap can be seen.
Dr Shue (Gleneagles Intan) told me that if the gap still persists, we might have to consider removing 1 screw from each inner end (that locks the bone in place). So, another visit in 2 months (sigh) to determine more accurately of its necessity.
Since I am writing this 3 weeks after, the news is much better now. I can walk without a crutch at home though with a limp. It was also 3 weeks ago that I started my own physio at the pool downstairs. Why I didn't do this before? Well, it was so dirty for so many months that the thought of sepsis scared me.
Thanks for your continued prayer and kind thoughts... and for reading.
HAVEN'T BEEN BLOGGING since I last went to visit the doctor on 30th Oct, 2007. Been back in my own condo since then, 27 days now. Been mostly down. Doctor had told me to lower my expectations. I had to readjust and still finding patience to let go and let it heal at its own timing. Motivation is at a low, been lapsing in my home physio and coupled with crashes of my new MacBook and G5 Desktop, it has been a real test....
SOME OF THE BEST Broadway productions I have seen are amongst the ones above. It started as a a Top 10 list but it got so difficult to choose especially when it came down to the 9th-10th and 11th-12th. Now it has turned out to be a Top 28 Musicals + 1 Play. Sometimes I feel Hairspray should be in the Top 10 but then again, The Lion King also has its entertaining qualities. This is purely on a recall basis at this moment in time and NOT based on the soundtrack, music or big stars in it.
•1• _______________ 9 & 8 Years ago: HipHopera the Musical went on stage Sept 2, 1999 for the second run of 27 shows. The first season in 1998 ran for 22 shows thus totalling 49, that time the record of longest running musical in KL. •2• _______________ 10 years ago: When I had stopped volunteer work in counselling at Emmaus Counselling Centre after 5 years. Tonight is Emmaus' 20th Anniversary Celebrations in PJ. •3• _______________ 10 years ago: I had performed in Sydney and visited the Sydney Dance Company. Also celebrated my Birthday at Planet Hollywood with the kind folks of the Low Yat Group. •4• _______________ 10 years ago: Performed Scintillations with Ramli Ibrahim, Michael Veerapan & Ms Malaysia Samantha Schubert and underwater modelling under Michael Loh for the KLCC Gallery Opening. •5• _______________ 10 years ago: Car drove into me while I was on my way to be interviewed by Faridah Merican on Radio. Sprained wrist and palm. Accident announced on national radio! •6• _______________ 10 years ago: Sept 13, Fook Sun & Oon Oon's Wedding Anniv. Happy Anniversary! Fook Sun is my oldest friend from the same Kindegarten, Primary and Secondary classes! •7• _______________ 10 years ago: Calvin, funny we celebrate our friendship the same time as Fook Sun's wedding anniversary! •8• _______________ 20 years ago: Came home upon graduating from Colorado, NST (Fatimah Abu Bakar - editor) had an article on me with the title "Overachiever". Such irony, am the opposite! •9• _______________ 30 years ago: Won my one and only bronze swimming medal in breast-stroke (Form 1). I was the shortest in class and in all primary school. No kidding. •10• _______________ 43 years ago: My Birthday. Thanking God for a fulfilling life. Ooyeah!
NEW X-RAYS WERE taken today at Gleneagles Intan Hospital, for my 6th week progress checkup with Dr Shue.
Summary: Bone forming according to schedule but I can't help feeling a little down. I had hoped for a speedier recovery with the supplements of Calcium, Protein and MultiVites that I have been taking. I had also hoped for going back to work on both feet a little sooner for Adrenaline! has been rewarded another Digi Amazing Malaysians project in Melaka. Petra and Kennedy, aww...
Ossification for that part of the femur is slower than the ends of the thigh bone because it is cancellous or called spongy bone. On x-ray, it is currently not solid white... I do see some white bridges connecting the solids but sadly, more black gaps are visible. So, no weight on my right foot still. Oh well, more rest and physios ahead for another 6 weeks!
EVERY NOW & THEN I have an assortment of flashbacks from my 12 days spent in the hospital. One of those are of bizarre dreams undulating in and out of my states of sleep, wake and in-betweens. None of them I can remember now but this I remember a nun having said: "Dreams are various parts of you reacting to different situations or feelings. Even the characters that are known to you in the dream are actually mainly you and components of yourself."
Try to think of a dream you remember, rather than seeing different people as entirely OTHER than you, pick the general feelings of these people toward you and ask what parallels these feelings are of you ON yourself.
________ This is slightly irrelevant. A friend of mine just told me about her dream, kinda cute. Doreen, this gives me hope *wink*.
Doreen's Dream: "I had a dream about you a couple of days ago. You were holding a solo dance performance in some sort of a café. And there were lots of people there, mostly people I knew like my mom and my sister and my cousin. Strange that they were all my family members! And you were walking around greeting your guests."
MANY HAVE ASKED me how I am, so I thought I'd better update my progress on the blog.
Tonight marks the 31st night since my fall on Aug 12th. Been a month! I have been out of the hospital for 19 days now (12 days in hospital). For those who need a recap, I lost my balance on my Jaguh on MRR2 at 8.12 pm. No other vehicles were involved. Eventually, the bike landed on my right thigh and broke the femur bone into 2. Straight to the point, ouch! (To be continued on "Scene of Mishap" below)
I am now mostly on crutches for short distances and a wheelchair for longer ones. Yeah, I do get pushed around a lot these days! But no lah... I am shown much love and care. Angels around me. Much are the tear-drawing-type kinda care and love-in-action! *wink*
I would be kidding if I had not been frustrated at times throughout this recovery period. The nights and sleeps are painful most times... with constant pricking and screwing at my inner bones and nerves. In the early stages I couldn't even rotate to the side to sleep. After a week, I used a soft pillow in between the legs to rotate gently to the left but not to the right for my operation was that side - running from my waist down to the side of my knee in 5 lines totalling 18.25 inches.
(Nice to be pushed around, even got to go to Ikea, watched Ratatouille and celebrated Birthdays. Many angels involved)
I had stayed off pain killers for the last 2.5 weeks for I believe they wouldn't help me in the long run. With the pain, I just have to unite that with my faith, as a sort of atonement. When I am able to align that, I do feel much grace and peace. The little sufferings I feel are but only a fraction of the much greater pain others feel - be it in physical or emotional pain.
My next appointment with the doctor is Thurs, 20th Aug with new X-rays taken. There I will find out more about my progress. In cases like mine, I would usually have to stay off my injured leg for 3 months. It takes 6-8 weeks for the fractured bones to merge, though in its less-solid stage. If nerves are involved, it can go up to 6 months because nerves only grow an inch each month! Thank God my spine is ok but my groin nerves have been affected. To me its not a problem, really!
As far as work is concerned, I am kinda worried. This year may end up as my poorest earning year since 1990. I lost a TV ad job, a teaching job, a facilitating project, a movie role (never been in a movie), jobs with 8TV (not asked for OIAM2), desktop publishing for NGOs and so on. I may be wheelchair/crutches bound, I am determined to get out and work again.
(Sept 2nd. Celebrated my Chinese Birthday at a Porridge Steamboat Restaurant)
__________ Bought an ankle band yesterday... so that this will not happen to my foot again! Water retention when I am away from the bed for too long. Foot looks like it belongs to a 200 pounder guy! Eeeww.
__________ SCENE OF MISHAP:
THE HEAVY BIKE dropped on its side and according to the driver behind, he saw sparks flew from the drag. The almost full tank (RM20 worth) sat only cms from my balls. No kidding. If I had worn boxers, the jewels would have been crushed!!!
As you can see from the pics taken at the scene (refer to Mishap entry), I was really that normal and calm looking. I HAD to stay collected for who knows, I may have gone into shock and fainted. I managed to drag myself into the middle of the highway but as I arrived there after a short 3 metres, I soon realised that something was wrong with my legs. My right leg didn't behave right for I could not lift nor control it. I yanked the rain pants upwards like a puppeteer would for a limb to move.
Mind you, I had extra padding in the form of rain pants and rain boots over my usual clothing and sport shoes. I also had on a thick leather jacket which saw minor abrasions. All in all, they may have prevented complete bone crushes and other agonising fractures to my limbs! Angels protected me I know! Wish I can play the song ANGEL by Sarah McLachlan right here! *chuckles*
Thank you Angels, my Guardian Angel and St. Michael my Protector!
_____
ANGEL - Sarah McLachlan
Spend all your time waiting for that second chance for a break that would make it okay there's always one reason to feel not good enough and it's hard at the end of the day I need some distraction oh beautiful release memory seeps from my veins let me be empty and weightless and maybe I'll find some peace tonight
* in the arms of an angel fly away from here from this dark cold hotel room and the endlessness that you fear you are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie you're in the arms of the angel may you find some comfort there
so tired of the straight line and everywhere you turn there's vultures and thieves at your back and the storm keeps on twisting you keep on building the lie that you make up for all that you lack it don't make no difference escaping one last time it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees *
JUST CREATED A Gallery for some pics I had taken in 2003 in the USA. During that trip, Dr Verner (my best American friend with an Asian soul) had taken me to some marvellous good old country wonders of Wyoming, Montana, Nebraska, South Dakota and my favourite state Colorado. Happy Birthday Verner!!!
Earlier, I had attended the International Christian Dance Conference in Dallas-Fort Worth, Texas. Hello all my ICDF blessed folks! Yee Haa! Now I stand at having visited half of the US - 25 states. It was an amazing amazing trip because I had set another record, I watched 12 Broadway shows in 9 days! Phew! That was exhilirating! More pics ahead later...
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HERE IS A GALLERY of mostly actors I got a chance to meet in NYC in 2001, 2003 & 2005. The saddest miss was Julia Roberts cos we were walking in to watch The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee Musical. I asked her for a pic but was turned down, aww. Not included in this gallery are Bernadette Peters, Cast of Avenue Q, Fiddler on the Roof and Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.
I HAD A sleeping pill last night but still tossed around in bed. After 6 hours I decided to get up coz I left out the name of Elaine Pedley in my blog (who had visited me in the hospital). I still get some calls and visitors especially those who have just found out about my fall. Atilia Sarani the powerful vocalist from Malaysian Idol II dropped by yesterday. It is also this time perhaps that I have reflected a lot about my life, arts career and friends of past and present.
I live such a great life having had so many diverse experiences. Despite my performing, fine and graphic arts college education, a depression and spiritual shakeup took me over to social work upon my graduation and return to Malaysia in 1990. I did nothing for a whole year except for youth and volunteer work in Ipoh, even chancing upon meeting a whole bunch of talented youth whom are blossoming today as tomorow's experts in their fields.
Prior to 1990 and back in the 70's and 80's, I had used to choreograph from the age of Form 2, throwing together moves I had learnt through live observation cos those days, my family could not afford music and dance classes. Inspired by anything running from Nancy Sit to Bobby, Jackson 5 to Bob Fosse, King & I to Black & White Minstrel Show and Grease to Disco, I would perform anywhere from St John's Ambulance Hall, Ipoh Town Hall, Methodist High School, Sam Tet, Silibin Hall, OMPH Hall to all kinds of venues. My main transport as a mini dance celebrity - my grandpa's bicycle!
(I wore this same glittery vest at the Saturday Night Fever Disco Competition in 2004 [pic below] and won 2k worth of prizes)
In 1990, there was a church youth camp held at La Salle Training Centre which introduced me to an amazing group of youngsters, ranging from From 2 - Form 6. In 1991, I had choreographed a musical Half A Sixthpence at St Michael's which featured Bernard Chauly (director-Goodbye Boys, Gol & Gincu) in the lead. Yes, he can sing and dance! Just a few years before that, I almost choreographed Lat The Kampung Boy Musical at ACS which featured Afdlin Shauki as Lat! Oh, interesting enough, I was dancing and choreographing professionally with Comscapes Dance Co in the late 80's when I had met Sean Ghazi as a young boy. If I go back far enough, I used to be on the same stage with.... ok, better not go that far back.
Back to Malaysia after being away in the US for 7 years, I didn't dance for quite a few more years as I was already busy dancing in my heart. I was also working in Montfort Boys Town and later took up counselling courses. Oops, not that accurate, I DID perform on the Montfort stage with some students! KL didn't see my reappearance till my audition for Scorpion Orchid. As fun as the audition was with Dato Faridah Merican and Joe Hasham, I had to turn down the role for Bodyguards (Clive Duncan/British Council). It was a sweet return to stage. Right around then were also appearances at Thor's Skoob Books of dance solos and Instant Cafe's Out In The Open.
(Jit Murad's Storyteller in 1996 directed by Krishen Jit and Zahim Albakri)
(Played the character of Tenuk in Storyteller)
In 1996, I reunited with Afdlin and Sean in Storyteller with a motley cast of Ning Baizura, Jit Murad, Chacko Vadeketh, Paula Malai Ali, Lin Jaafar, Ramzani, Ako Mustapha, etc. Krishen, I miss you. The following year, it was KL-KO (Kuala Lumpur Knock Out) with Kuali Works and in 98/99 was the longest running Musical in KL until then... Huzir's HipHopera with Afdlin, Paula, Iskandar and Sandra. That was a blast! Extra memorable because we were performing underneath in Dataran Merdeka as the surreal demonstrations were happening above. KInd of like the 'Cabaret' movie atmosphere depicting 2 worlds, which is real and which is surreal, who knows.
(MXV and Sandra Sodhy play Derrick and Doris in HipHopera Season 1, 1998)
I have lost touch with many of my friends but now and then, many do reconnect. I always try to find windows of opportunities like wishing them Happy Birthdays or occassions like a success in their careers or a joyous family life moment. I must admit it can be disappointing at times when so much have happened in all the years that had passed. Once a while I do feel sad. In my recent mishap, I realised that even though I may not get the response I unfairly desire from friends I hoped from, I must continue to not hang on... I must let go and love on. Let's toast to our reunion!
QUICK PLUG HERE. Just created a bunting for my longest friend from childhood, Fook Sun (since kindergarten till leaving St Michael's Secondary). His new Wontons & Noodles stall is at the new food court of Wisma MPL, Jalan Raja Chulan. Their specialty is their home style of cooking with no msg and totally pork free. You must try their amazing Cheese Wonton, out of this world! Sekian, terima kasih.
JaclynVictor.net was launched on 28th August, 2007
JACLYNVICTOR.NET is the new Jaclyn Victor Fan Club Website that was launched coincidentally on my birthday. Go register yourself at jaclynvictor.net. You can find me there chatting with the community and joining them on their activities once a while. The fans are pretty International!
IT IS OF course impossible to say what can be regarded as the best birthday present. No doubt, the gift of life precedes all. When the fall happened, my prayers immediately took me back to 1975 when I had my first fall. I was riding pillion with my sister where the bike hit a small cow which rushed onto the road. I was thrown off it and my face hit the road first and broke half of my 2 front teeth and had stitches on my eyebrow and top corner of my upper lip. I was rushed to the hospital in a Samaritan's car while I was reciting the Hail Mary.
That day, my brother was 12 days old as he was being baptised at St Michael's Church. Upon hearing the news of the accident, my mother thought she may have lost a son while having just given birth to another. It's amazing how life is... that was my major flashback while I was lying in the middle of MRR2 (right after the flyover of Taman Connaught).
I thought I received the best birthday present last year - an OSIM hand held massager and no fussy celebrations. This year, the best remains the amount of love and care my family and friends have shown me. 10 days before my actual birthday, I was shocked when family bought me a Mac Book. They secretly went off to a Mac shop and brought it to the hospital at night! I was angry as usual! I must say now, it is such a wonderful gift for I am able to (or encouraged to) actually share a voice on a blog that was never used AS a blog!
I am healing fine, went to see the doc at GlenEagles yesterday morning (Thurs) where the bandages were taken off, thus revealing the 18 1/4 inches scar where the operation took place. They run from my hip down to above the side of my knee. We were all making guesses to what the scars look like: fish bones, zipper, cakar ayam, railroad, staplers, baseball stitches, bicycle trackmarks, etc! Will see doc again in 3 weeks with new Xrays to be taken. Am doing my 30 mins to 1 hr physio daily in order to prevent muscle wastage and permanent lost of movement range. Now and then, I do feel sharp drilling sensations in my bones but have gotten used to it. Still cant bend my knee entirely but am half way there. I should be able to walk after as little as 3 months or up to 6! Being on a wheelchair can be fun!
THE FANS OF Jaclyn Victor planned an advanced surprise birthday party for me on Saturday night. The naughty ones included Kenny, Leon, Milo, Idolfan, Kristin, Arjuna, Arviena, CM and silent accomplices like my sister Irene, Calvin and nephews.
Usually I would be the one springing from one end to another taking pictures and arranging for fans to meet their Idols at birthday bashes from karaokes to restaurants and pubs. This time it was different, felt weird... haha. They all brought food which included a most delicious chocolate cake (I didn't give hoots about my diet, oops), chicken, specially prepared salads, Pizza Hut and much more. Thanks for the gifts, the great effort and sacrifices you all have made to come cheer me up. I was indeed touched beyond words.
I was in my pink and red pyjamas... and that was a SHOCK and not a surprise to the gang! Well, at least the colours covered the Jac and Daniel fans part! God bless you all ... including those who had sent wishes, were sick or unable to come. Hugs again to the naughty fellas!
(Too much fun, even the little one couldn't get away in time!)
JUST A QUICK note to say that I was released from the hospital on the night of 23rd August, Thurs, 2007. Upon release (bill amounted to almost RM21k) I rushed to the wake of Uncle Lai. Surprised to have met Julie Lai (Daniel's Fan) and Cheryl Lim (Christian Songwriter and vocalist)... small world eh? This morning, I was at the funeral service and proceeded to the Christian Cemetery in Cheras by noon. Later I had gone home to pack essentials and bills/letters to transfer to my sister's where I'll be recuperating for the next month or so. Also dropped by the bike shop to leave notice about my bike and a police report to be done when I am able. My loving sister Irene and Bro-in-law Mark helped me to do all these all day... carrying me in and out on wheelchair and crutches! Love you all!
Some good news - while I was ransacking my bag of "junk" mail yesterday, I realised that by chance, I had stumbled across an insurance letter from MAA which I'd received just before the accident... some free of charge insurance for 2 months and it just happened that it covers 9 days of my hospilisation. In short, I may get RM900. (Update: No RM900. MAA said that I was admitted 3 days too early! Insurance, figures!) Doesn't sound much but with the scarcity of jobs from last Dec, '06 and with my current disability, I am already on a deficit of 25k.
I have just missed out on some jobs like the McDonald's TVC I was choreographing, the Digi Cultural Randai Project, acting in a featured movie, the Merdeka NGO performances, the handbook design-layout for Women's Aid and so on. Sad sad, I need work! However, just to let you all know, I am still incredibly thankful for the blessings and graces God has bestowed on me. Really... I am all smiles in my heart. You all have shown me so much love I could just cry!!!
Hugs to all....
(Picture of the bandages hiding the 'curry-puff' folds of stitches and scars...)
(Sorry for the gore...)
(From bandaged to redressing to removal of stitches)
Rojak MXV Bio:
1. Graduated in Performing Arts-Dance, Graphic Communications & Fine Arts from Colorado, USA.
2. Lectured for the last 17 years in digital/graphic design, dance, choreography and performing arts nationally with works internationally featured in the USA, France and Australia.
3. Recent works were: choreographing a McD TVC, facilitated in Digi's Amazing Malaysians, as pre-judge/choreographer for the So You Think You Can Dance reality show, performed in Times Square NYC, coached actors in Popiah Pictures' Realiti TV drama, choreographed for the soon-to-be-released Susuk the Movie, choreographed or performed in TV Ads such as Munchys, Mamee with Akademi Fantasia, GA Blues and Streamyx Informercials. MXV was the dancing BlueHyppo on Streamyx TV ads. Acted and performed in more than 100 stage and TV productions for the last 30 years and NO movies yet.
4. Currently lectures at Sunway University College and coaches 8-Unit artistes such as Jaclyn Victor, Daniel Lee Chee Hun, Malaysian Idols, One in a Million and Project Superstar artistes. Fifth year as a dance judge for Kakiseni's Cameronian Awards.
